No Sunlight
by drizzzzle
Summary: I could never tell her what hell I've been through. I could never. After the island. Possible RalphxOC
1. Suddenly Everything has Changed

**A/N: **'No Sunlight' is an after the island story of Ralph. He has been home for a few weeks and move to the English countryside. This is just for fun and your enjoyment, I am in no way associated with the author or anything to do with Lord of the Flies at all. If I did, that would be awesome. c:

It will be updated slowly but surely, I procrastinate when it comes these type of things. But I do enjoy writing this, so some chapter might come quicker than I usually have them come in.

The main focus of this is NOT romance, but if you guys would like some romance intertwined in this, then please leave some suggestion and comment in the reviews. c: I wouldn't mind putting in romance, but I don't want it to take over the story.

The title, and the majority of chapter titles will be titles of songs or lyrics from songs by Death Cab for Cutie and the Postal Service. Again, I am in no way associated with them, but if they would like me to be associated with them, then that would be cool.

Hope you guys enjoy! Please r&r. c:

* * *

**Song - Suddenly Everything has Changed by the Postal Service**

**lyrics by the Flaming Lips**

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**No Sunlight: Chapter One**

**_Suddenly Everything has Changed_**

I sat on a couch, an ugly, stained yellow couch. To the left of me, a girl on the other side of the loveseat. I turned my face to her slowly, but quickly looked away as soon as I saw she was looking at me. She had thin brown hair, and a pair of big, brown eyes to match. Her hair was pulled back into a high pony tail, and she wore a light blue dress, a little above her knee. She had freckles, and her skin was slightly tanned.

She was a nice looking, average girl, compared to myself anyways.

I had just been back at home for about a week or two. My skin was still badly burnt, and dark purpleish circles outlined my lower eye lid. I still looked as thin as ever, but I think right now, I looked extra thin. But, hey, at least my hair got cut.

I looked around for something to look at. The girl's home, at least I think it was the girl's home, was very . . . decorated. Picture frames, painting, and cheesy quotes like "there's no place like home." I rubbed my fore arm nervously, looking into the room where my parents and her parents were in. The room was separated by a half closed door. I wondered what they were talking about.

"So, what's your name?"

I jumped at the sudden voice. My heart began pumping a little harder. I turned to the girl across from me, assuming it was from her. I mean, she was the only one in the room anyways. She didn't look at me, but she looked down at her hands, playing with her thumbs. Her hands were clasps, and the thumbs rolled over each other in a fluid motion.

My mouth was dry, I licked my cracked lips, "Ralph," I answered, "I'm Ralph." I think my voice cracked.

She giggled.

"That's a nice name."

I looked down, slightly blushing from the slip up. My voice cracking was becoming common, and it happens many times through out the day. My mom said it was because my voice is beginnning to get deeper, on account of puberty or something.

There was a pause; I looked up at her and she looked up at me. I think she was waiting for me to say something else.

Oh yeah, right.

"What's your name?" I asked, finally.

"Emily." She looked up at me while saying this.

"That's a nice name."

The girl, apparently named Emily looked back down at her hands, beginning to play with her thumbs once more. There was another deep silence, and I could tell it was bothering her. But I didn't mind so much. But silence was a time to think, and there were just times where I preferred not to just think of what I've accomplished in the last few days. She seemed to be looking for something to talk about. Girls talked a lot, I noticed. It's like, if they weren't talking, they weren't doing anything right.

Emily looked up at me again, "You just moved here, right?" She paused, "Right next to my house?"

I nodded, unaware of how stand offish I was being. "Yeah."

She waited to see if I was going to add anything to that, but nothing else came out. Emily continued. "Did you like it at your old house?"

"Not really."

"You like it here?"

"Not really."

I was completely neutral about moving and about staying at my house. The only thing that mattered was transferring to another school, but my parents just had to take to another level. Appently, the was going to be some 'fresh new start' or some rubbish like that. But to me, it was completely the same. I was still in the gloomy England, and I still have my memories.

Emily was about to say something, but was interrupted by the four adults walking into the living room. They were smiling and were perky as could be. It was kind of annoying.

"You two've met each other, I suppose." The man who I did not know asked, but I guess he was Emily's father. He knelt beside me, holding out his hand. "It's nice to meet you Ralph." He said somewhat slowly, like I was an idiot.

I took his hand, unwillingly and shook it in a way that was anything but firm.

"As a warm welcoming, Ralph . . ." What was with everyonee directing there attention to me? My mother smiled that motherly smile, ". . . Emily's family is offering for you to make friends with her and come over for play dates and all that."

They have got to be kidding me.

I stay silent though, and so did Emily.

I looked over to her, while she stared at her parents. And I felt embarressed, for me, for her. It was like I had to ask my parents if they could make friends for me. I looked down, my eye brows narrowing.

This was stupid.

"Ralph," My mother called, "You can come to her house everyday if you'd like." She paused, "She's going to be homeschooled as well."

There was yet another deep silence, until someone said:

"We'll let you guys get to know each other."

I didn't see who it was though, I was still looking down.

* * *

Emily sighed, standing up from the couch, "Would you like to go adventuring?" She asked. Though it seemed like she would be going whether _I_ was going to go or not.

"Adventuring?" My head tilted.

"Well, this is the country side," She said a matter-of-factly, "There's a small forest like thing a quarter mile from my house." Emily paused, and began talking again, "It's not much, just a few tall trees here and there." She smiled at me, "It's a nice place to play hide and go seek."

It seemed harmless, so I shrugged.

"Is that a yes?"

"Why not?"

"Is that a yes?"

"Yeah, it is."

Emily began walking, knowing that I was trailing behind her. She unlocked the sliding door and pulled it open, and a gust of wind flew by our faces. She walked onto the other side of the door, the outside, and waited until I went to the other side as well. She closed it behind me.

We walked on the paved road outside of Emily house, walking on a bridge that towered some hundered feet above a shallow river. We continued on the paved road, and I saw a small group of trees in the distance.

"It's nice here." I began, looking around and not talking to anyone in particular. I looked up at the orange-brown sky, dotted with cotton like clouds here and there. It was mid afternoon I think, and the weather was neither too hot or too cold. It was autum weather, perfect. "Y`know, this countryside stuff." I stuffed my hands in my tan colored trousers, "It not so bad."

"Yeah," Emily said in a deep sigh, not directly talking to anyone either. "I love it here." She looked over to Ralph, smiling sweetly, "I think you'll like it here too." She paused, hesistant to ask the next question, but she did anyway. "Hey, Ralph?"

"Yeah?" I looked over to her.

"Why'd you move over to this place?"

I stopped walking, and it seemed like time stopped as well. There was too many reasons why I had moved to put into one sentence. And it seemed like if I did ever tell her why I moved here, it would land me in a mental hospital.

But I didn't tell her, so it was fine.

For the most part anyways.

Emily stopped as soon as she noticed that I had stopped walking.

"Ralph?"

"Well," I began, "It's complicated."

"Okay." Emily began walking again, I followed right next to her.

We continued on the paved road, silent and a tiny bit tense.

I ran my hand through my hair, and brought them into my pockets. My eyebrows narrowed and I looked down at the pavement. I wondered, why did she have to bring that up? Why couldn't she think before she asked me that? Why couldn't just keep her mouth shut and not talk to me?

But then I figured, it was because she was a girl, and girls talk a lot. It's like, if they weren't talking, they weren't doing anything right.

I looked over to her, and she stared straight ahead, oblivious, and unaware of how much I wanted to cry at that very moment.

I helded it in though, for the sake of my dignity and our potential friendship.

I could never tell her what hell I've been through.

I could never.

**_Then it goes fast ; You think of the past_**

**_Suddenly everything has changed_**


	2. My Mirror Speaks

**A/N: **To be honest, I didn't expect a new chapter this fast either. xD I was surprised (and flattered) when I got a review already too. Seriously, I think I take them too kindly, I get all giddy and excited like a little school girl.

So thank you TuesdayNovember. c:

Enjoy the chapter, and thanks for reading.

**Song - My Mirror Speaks by Death Cab for Cutie**

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**No Sunlight: Chapter Two**

_**My Mirror Speaks**_

"Hey,"

I looked over at Emily, she was calling me.

_**'Cause I'm a man who hides from all that binds  
In a mess of fading lines**_

"You okay Ralph?"

Not really.

"I didn't mean to pinch a nerve or anything."

"I know you didn't."

She frowned at me, and then suddenly she changed it into a slight smile. "Hey, you know what?" She paused, and clasped her hands together. "Wanna race over there? It's just straight ahead." With those big brown eyes, it looked like she was pleading, "C`mon it'll be fun!"

I attempted to grin back at her, getting my hands out of my trouser pockets. "`kay." I laughed, forcing it out of my mouth. "I'll beat `cha anyhow."

I looked over to her, but realized she wasn't by my side anymore. It wasn't until I looked ahead that I realized that she was already a quarter of the way there, running as fast as her little dress and her little legs could take her.

"Hey no fair!" I shouted out to her.

"That's what you get for standin` there!"

I began running, and suddenly, I ran faster than I thought I ever did. Suddenly, the English countryside dissapeared from the background and it became a lush forest. Suddenly, I heard cries and shouting behind me. Suddenly, I felt the ground shaking underneath my own feet, and the sound of many people chasing after me. Suddenly, my mind took me back to place where I never wanted to be again.

I ran faster and faster.

And suddenly, it stopped, and Emily stood in front of me, holding my arms.

"Ralph?"

"Wh-Wha -?"

"You almost crashed into me." Emily giggled that same giggle that she does often, it was so comforting and girly. "You okay?" She let go of me.

"Y-yeah, I'm alright." I replied, my voice was shooken up and cracking again.

"You sure? We can go back, the sun's going down anyway." Emily paused, and then leaned closer to me. Cocking a single eyebrow, "Are you . . . tearing?"

"Wha- ? No!" I wiped my eyes with my arms, barely wet after I did. My instinct to retain my 'masculinity' was overblown. "Damn bugs okay? Got caught in my eyes! I'm _not_ cryin`!" My voice raised slightly at the last part.

"I just thought you . . ."

I cut Emily off, "Sucks to your thoughts!" I looked over to the thing Emily called a forest, nothing but leafless tall trunks with a spider web of branches. But the word forest still haunted me, I didn't really want to play in there.

"Okay then, let's go Ralph."

I nodded and made my way next to her. We both looked at each other for a second, and quickly turned away, similar to the first moment we looked at each other. I didn't try to start a conversation, and I think she didn't bother either. It was a rocky beginning, but I knew I would be seeing more of her. In fact, there was no way out of seeing her more.

We continued on the pavement, all the way home.

* * *

Emily walked with me to the front of my house, letting me walked up the wooden stairs as she stayed standing on my lawn.

"So," I saw Emily scratching the back of her head, "We'll see each other tomorrow?"

"I think so."

"Um," She paused, "Bye then, Ralph."

"Bye."

Slowly, but surely, she walked off of my lawn, and into her own house. I sat on the stairs of my porch, watching the orange sky and the sun setting. It hasn't hit me yet that I was actually home, and that horrible thing wasn't happening anymore. I should be happy that my life is back to normal, but it just feels weird.

I mean, it's good to be back and not on the island, but I'm not happy.

I felt my hands twitch as I thought about what was bothering me.

It was no surprise what was bothering me.

I looked up, my body falling back against the wooden porch. My mind wandered to wherever it wanting to go and I starred blankly at the cieling, and then I felt something. People up there; they were mad at me. They were glaring right at me. They were up there and I was just down here, like everything was okay.

I looked up to the roof, biting my lower lip, clawing at the wood underneath me.

_'I'm sorry,'_ I said to them.

They were silent; I wasn't sure if they could speak or not.

_'I swear!' _I cried out at them._ 'It's not my fault!' _I felt like I was screaming.

"Oh? But everything _was_ your fault."

My body quickly shot up, and now I was sitting up right. I looked around, not seeing anyone or anything that could have been that voice. I stood up now, and walked into my house. Heading straight for my room that was still in the works. Boxes everywhere and just a mattress in the middle and a dresser off to the side of the plain room. I think my mom was trying to talk to me, but I had ignored her, only wanting to be in my room by myself.

She was probably just going to try and ask about my day, like she always did before. And even before this, before all of this I always replied the same thing day in and day out.

_'How was your day today, Ralph?'_

_'Fine.'_

I shut the door behind me. It made a loud slam. I plopped myself on the matress.

I hesitated, looking back up at the cieling. There were people there. I felt like I could touch them, they were real. As real as I am, and as real as Emily; as real as life. "Piggy, Simon." I could barely utter the words out, I felt like I was being strangled. My vision was blurring and I felt hot tears roll down the sides of my face. "I'm so sorry." I whispered to them, if they were listening.

I hope they were listening.

I pushed myself up off the mattress, and was about to walk to the living room when I noticed the dresser's mirror as I passed by. I stopped, and stared at my own reflection. I could barely see my ordinary pale skin underneath all of my burnt and cracked skin above it. My eyes were red and puffy, my face the slightest shade of pink. My hair was kind of a mess.

What happened to me?

The mirror's image was changing, back and fourth from me to some other boy. The other boy was shirtless, dirty, and angry looking. dried blood and dark burns covered his leathery looking skin. He held a pointed spear next to him, and looked directly at me. His eyes were glaring right into my own. It was like he was reading my mind, like he was studying everything about me just by looking into my eyes. He frightened me.

"I'm the beast, Ralph."

I wasn't shocked when it began talking, not at all. It was like he wanted to say something anyways.

_'Who are you?' _I asked the boy.

"I'm you."

_**When my mirror speaks it never minces words  
That these eyes don't shine half as bright  
As they used to do and they haven't for quite a while**_

I was about to ask another question to the boy, I really wanted to. But when I looked back up, I saw my own reflection. I didn't know exactly what to do just then, I gulped, trying to settle in what just happened there. I felt like screaming, like yelling and cursing at the damn mirror. I felt like breaking the thing into a millions sharp little pieces. I felt like choking that boy on the other side of the mirror.

That wasn't me.

It couldn't be.

My back turned to the mirror, and my head began aching. My eyebrows narrowed, and I turned back to look at the mirror straight forward. My hand soon turned into a tight fist, my viens beginning to pop out on my hands. I breathed heavily.

"What are you going to do?" The boy in the mirror asked, he had a slight smirk on his face. He held the spear in one hand while the other hand rested on his hip. He looked at me through the bridge of his nose. "Get rid of me?" He laughed, a ridiculing, haunting laugh. It sent shiver down my spine, "Ralph, I _am_ you."

_**Then my mirror speaks with irreverence  
Like a soldier I can't command  
It sees the frightened child that I am**_

"You actually think that you can get rid of me by punching and screaming at me? Beating me like the animal you are?" He laughed, his ugly, yellow stained teeth showing. "Like you did to them?"

I grabbed a blanket that was laying on my matress, unfolding it and pulling it over the mirror. I didn't want to see the boy anymore. No matter what he said, I wasn't him. I just wasn't.

"Ralph, you silly thing." I could still hear his voice, it was in my head. It was clawing away at my brain, trying to break me down. "If you want to get rid of me, you've got to get rid of you."

I walked out of my room, slamming the door behind me. I wasn't going to sleep in that room.

Actually, I wasn't sure if I was going to get _any_ sleep tonight.

_**Just a frightened child**_


	3. Pity and Fear

**A/N: **Man, oh man. I'm on a roll. Cx I didn't expect to be writing chapter three so quickly. But the storyline is sooo much fun.

I wrote this very late into the night, so if there are some (or many) bad, boring parts, excuse it. D: Especially the ending, I wasn't too fond of it. /:

Anyways, this is a pretty long chapter. Like, twice as long as my usual ones. Cx It's actually chapter three and four put together, since it seemed like it would make more sense if they were together.

Sooooo, I hope you enjoy this next chapter ~ :D

**Song - Pity and Fear by Death Cab for Cutie**

**

* * *

**

**No Sunlight: Chapter Three**

_**Pity and Fear**_

I walked out of the front door of my house. Trying to be quiet; didn't want to wake my parents or anything. The moon was shining brighter than ever. I shivered, the cold November nights beginning to crawl onto my skin, making the hairs on the back of my neck and my arms stand straight up. My eyes were squinting, the sudden change in light was more drastic than I thought.

I couldn't sleep.

I went to the neighbor's house, Emily's to be more specific. I jumped over to badly made wooden fence that separated my house and her's, it was easy. I wandered around the house, lapping it at least once, trying to guess which window's lead to Emily's room.

I just wanted to talk to someone, to get my mind off of some things. I didn't care who, but I just preferred Emily. Someone my age, someone who could get my type of viewpoint. She seemed like the kind of person that would be open to talking about things. Someone that would keep me company and just be a friend.

Just be there, y`know?

I just wanted someone to be there.

But the only thing was, I knew she could never understand.

My body inched forward, drawing closer to the actual house. I looked through the covered windows. Was it this? Hopefully whichever one I chose wouldn't be Emily's parents or something. That would be odd.

I tapped on a smaller looking window on the part of the house that was furthest from mine, hopeful that it was her's. I would have guessed it was her's, the bigger sliding door seemed to be the living room's window, and the bay window's looked like it would belong to the master bed room. When nothing came, I tapped again. I waited, tapping on the window continuously until she woke up and opened the small curtain covering up the window. I didn't get why she was sleeping so early, it was only midnight anyways.

Maybe I just had a slight case of insomnia.

"Emily." I said to the window, making sure my voice was loud enough to be heard, but not loud enough to wake people up. "Emily wake up."

There was nothing, until suddenly the curtain pulled open. I jumped, shocked at the suddeness of the curtain moving. There stood Emily, in a long night gown and her long brown hair frizzy, from tossing and turning while sleeping probably. She jumped as soon as she saw me. I think she was shocked to see me.

Emily quickly opened the window, "Ralph?" She said in a hushed tone, "What are you doing?"

"I can't sleep."

"Wh-what?" Emily grunted, "Are you serious?" She ran her fingers through her hair, trying to at least comb it a little bit while she was talking to me. "Get back to your house, Ralph."

"C`mon, lemme in." I pleaded, "Open the front door, I wanna talk."

"You can't be serious." Emily said with her half open eyes, her hand shielding the moonlight away from them. "What exactly do you wanna talk about?"

"Stuff." I replied, "Serious stuff."

* * *

"Hurry up Ralph. My parents might think I'm sneakin` out with you or something." She closed door silently behind me, beginning to walk to her room quickly. It was like her feet weren't touching the ground, it was so quiet. "Do you're parents even know you're here?"

"No, why?"

Emily let out a little laugh, and continued to her room. And closed the door again. She sat down on the floor with me, cross legged, her long night grown thankfully covered the part of her I wasn't suppose to see."So what?" Emily began. "Why're you here?"

"I just want some company, `kay?" I replied, "I don't feel too well."

"So . . ." She yawned, scooting closer to me, so that she was sitting next to me instead of across from me. Emily looked over to me, leaning forward while doing so. "Wanna talk about it?" Her big brown, half open eyes looked into mine. She didn't seem like she knew what was going on. For I knew, maybe she thought she was dreaming or something.

"I want to," I cough, choking on my words. "But . . ."

"But what?"

"I don't really know how to put it."

"Whenever you're ready," Emily gave me a reassuring smile, "I'm all ears Ralph."

I sighed, and looked down at the my hand, fumbling with and not keeping still. My body shook nervously, and I looked around her house from something to look at. Thoughts were like wild fire in my brain, scrattering images and scene here and there inside my head. I couldn't get any of my thoughts together to tell Emily. I just couldn't.

"Ralph?"

I twitched, realizing that I was still in Emily's room. "I'm sorry," I blurted out, "About eariler today," I didn't know what was coming out of my mouth, "How I blew up on you."

Stupid, I felt so stupid. I couldn't even say a word that would just let me breathe and take out some of the pressure and heartache of the island away from me. I couldn't just tell Emily like that. I couldn't tell her about what was really bothering me. I should have just thought of her like a journal, mindlessly telling her all of my worries without thinking about what she thought of it.

Maybe I was just being a wuss.

I looked over to Emily, being nothing but understanding. I felt bad at that moment. She sighed, despite looking a little frustrated and a little bit cranky, she told me, "It's `kay." A slight paused, "Why though?" She frowned, "I didn't think I did anything wrong."

"I guess . . ." I know I couldn't blame her from thinking she wasn't doing anything wrong, but the fact that she thought that way sorta irked me. "I guess I'm just being sensitive right now or somethin`"

"Just try not to . . . blow up like that, okay?" Emily looked over to me, "No more fighting and yelling at each other from now on, deal?" She smiled, "Like a good, English boy and girl should act. Plus, I don't like fighting n` yelling too much."

I didn't like fighting and yelling too much either.

She stood up, grabbing a blanket from her bed and laying out on the floor. "Let's get to bed now?" She threw a pillow on the floor, "You can go ahead and sleep on my bed if you'd like. I'll sleep on the floor."

"But -"

"I don't mind." She layed down in front of me, squirming into the blanket like a little buggy or something. Emily let out a big yawn and I saw her eyes closing. "C`mon get to bed, just sleep on mine." Her eyes began closing, "And I'll make up some excuse to my parents in the morning. I don't think they'd think we're doing anything bad." She giggled at that last part.

Thank god for the dim lighting of the room, or she would have seen my face go red. I got up, beginning to crawling into her bed, underneath her sheets. They were fluffy, and comforting. I placed my head on the pillow, turning to the side where I could see Emily. I closed my eyes, inhaling my surrounding and the scent of her pillow. It smelled like girl. It was warm underneath the covers, even though the outside was almost painfully cold.

_**I have such envy for the stranger lying next to me**_

I couldn't help but snicker a little bit at the sound of Emily's slight snore. It was kind of . . . nevermind. I won't say it. A boy my age should still think girls are icky. But she was such an innocent thing, oblivous and sweet. Emily really had no idea what kind of corrupted, evil world surround her.

_**No words, a clean escape, no promises or messes made  
And chalks it all up to **__**mistake, mistake, mistake**_

I hope she'll never find out.

* * *

_It was about the late afternoon. I was laying down by the beach, alone with just the water barely touching my finger tips. The tide was rising. I let out a deep breath, my throat beginning to throb as each and every breathe following it came out. It felt like sandpaper. I wondered what I was supposed to be doing, since I had no one. Everyone was gone._

__

SamnEric had been captured; Piggy and Simon were gone for good.

_**A storm at sea, bow cracked and I was capsizing**  
**I sunk below where I swore I would never go**_

I pushed my body up off the sand, the little grains of it sticking to my sweaty, sinky body all over. My fingernails were filthy and were black with dirt underneath them, my body felt weak and light, since it seemed like I haven't had anything decent to eat in awhile. My feet were red and swollen, from walking and running around barefoot all the time. My body was in no condition to keep surviving on this island.

I crawled over to the beach-side, wanting to feel the cool water against my aching, burning body. The salt water burned against open scratches and wounds, but at the same time, it felt cleansing, and relaxing. My hair fell to my sides, it seemed like it was getting longer, faster; I think it was down to my shoulders right now.

Somewhere in the ripples of the water, I saw my own reflection. Tired, puffy brown eyes starring back at me. I could count the rings underneath them. My hair was much too over grown and an oily mess, and I looked tanner than ever.

I didn't quite look like myself.

"What's wrong?" My reflection smiled politely at me, grinning with it's stained yellow teeth. "You look sad."

"I'm alone." I replied in a dry, raspy voice.

The reflection laughed, "See what you have done?" He let out another laugh, haunting and demonic, it echoed in my ear forever. "This is all your fault you know."

"What is?" I asked.

"How do you not see?" A wave came, sending my reflection swirling around and moving. Once the water settled, it didn't look the same, I couldn't exactly point out how, but it didn't. It didn't look like me. It wasn't me. "Ralph! Oh you stupid little thing!" He began laughing, hystrically; smiling a smile from ear to ear. "You kill me! You kill me! It's hurts so much!" He clenched the side of his stomach, laughing so hard it made his sides hurt. "Just liked you killed them; you're killing me! How can you not see your faults?"

I didn't know what to say, the reflection kept on talking and talking. Mocking me and ridiculing me to the fullest with every single second that passed by. I felt like shouting and screaming, kicking the water around until the reflection dissappeared. But I was frozen still, like I wasn't able to get move.

"Ralph, oh stupid Ralph! You kill me!"

_I didn't know what to do, or what to say._

_"Just do everyone a favor: wake up, Ralph, wake up."_

_

* * *

_

"Ralph, wake up. Ralph . . ."

I jolted awake, pushing the covers away from me quickly. My forehead was damp with cold sweat, and I breathed heavily. My mouth was dropped, my eyes were wide. I was completely awake, like I hadn't been sleeping at all. It wasn't until I looked around the room that I realized that I wasn't in my bedroom, I was still in Emily's house.

I shivered, feeling suddenly cold and jittery. My body shook, teeth chattering and hands rubbing my arms, warming them up. I had almost forgot Emily was trying to wake me up until i finally saw her next to me, kneeling beside the bed. A worried look on her face.

"You were all jumpy in your sleep," She said, "Nitemares?"

I looked down, pulling the blankets so that it covered me. Frowning, I nodded to her.

She looked up at her clock, and looked back to me, "Well, it's about four in the morning." Emily sighed, stretching out her arms over her head. "Since I didn't get much sleep, I tried thinking of an excuse. Y`know, explain to my parents why you're hear `n all that." She paused, "And nothing. I couldn't think of anything."

_**There are no tears; just pity and fear**  
**I recall the push more than the fall**  
_  
"So what am I supposed to do?"

"Just sneak back into you're home now, I guess." Emily frowned slightly, "I don't think my parents would be in the mood to deal with you right now. They were fighting and yelling at late night. The last thing they would want to find out is that their daughter snuck in a friend into their house." She looked up at me, "And I don't want to get them angrier."

"Don't worry," I replied, tossing the blanket off of me. Despite still being shooken up from the dream I just had, I still had to cooperate with Emily. This was her place after all, and she actually let me sleep here. "I understand."_  
_


	4. For All Time

**A/N**: This chapter has third person narrations that doesn't involve Ralph. So hopefully, you won't get confused when it happens because I told you. xD If you do, I apologize.

Also, this chapter has religous things in it. I am in no way enforcing it or preching it, or anything. It just happens to be a part of the story.

Thanks for all the lovely reviews, you guys are awesome! :DD

Enjoy this next chapter ~

**Song: Passenger Seat - Death Cab for Cutie**

* * *

**No Sunlight: Chapter Four**

_**For All Time**_

The next few days passed by with anything but ease. They seemed endless, long, and awkward. Everyday, after both our of studies, Emily would walk around the neighborhood with me, just talking casual talk. How the weather was that day, how we both hated when the paved roads were uneven, and what kind of things we liked. It was boring to me, but I didn't blame her for it. Maybe if I had actually told her about my problems then that would actually give us something decent to talk about.

But for now, I didn't mind boring conversations.

**_Then begin to breathe in  
The darkest country road  
And the strong scent of evergreen  
From the passenger seat as you are driving me home  
_**

I noticed that the English Countryside was some kind of deserted place for old people. Retired seniors always sitting on there porch, knitting or playing with there pets, I swear, I didn't see another kid my age or Emily's age. I wondered how Emily surrived out here without many, or any friends, she didn't even have any siblings. Emily didn't seem like the type of person who minded lonelyness, but I think anyone would go mad if they didn't have a friend.

Today was Sunday, and Emily was at church. I found it odd that Emily went to church by herself, rather than going with her parents. Her family seemed like such happy-go-lucky, church people that were the stereotypic perfect family. But Emily had told me that wasn't the case, due to some countless fight that her parents have had.

Emily thinks they're falling out of love.

* * *

The train station was in sight, Emily road her bicycle down the lonely pavement. Her legs moved fast: swiftly and effortlessly. She jumped off of it, parking it on the bicycle rack outside of the building. She put a lock between the spokes, and walked inside the train staion.

She pushed open the door, seeing a little line of people for buying the tickets. This station wasn't too popular, since a majority of the people living here were elderly, preferring to stay were they were at. Emily fell into line, waiting patiently for her turn. She kept glancing back at the clock, hoping she wouldn't be late for the service.

She's been going to church ever since she was little girl, with her parents of course, but suddenly, she began more often than them, and eventually, she ended up just going to church all by herself. Emily wasn't sure exactly why her parents lost interest in going to church, but she just hoped someday they would go again.

Emily said a "Thank you." to the man behind the ticket stand and walked away, grabbing the piece of paper from him. She walked quickly to the waiting area, sitting on an empty spot on an almost filled bench.

* * *

I would much rather be in my room, but honestly, I haven't been in there since the first day I met Emily. The only time I needed to be in there was when I got my clothes for the day. I laid on the couch in the living room, throw pillow under my head and starring blankly at the ceiling. One of my legs hung off the side of the couch, swinging back and fourth on it's own. My mouth was slightly opened, which I didn't realize at first. My eyes could barely keep still, every so often it would drop. But I tried to force myself to stay awake.

I've barely gotten any sleep while I've been living here. I usually sleep early in the morning, before my mom gets me to study. I tried to brake in an hour or two of sleep a day, and a tiny bit more during my studies. I preferred sleeping during the day, since I felt more at ease. I didn't exactly know why. I suppose the sunlight was much more sweet to me. It made me feel safe.

My mother told me there weren't gonna be any studies on the weekend, and since Emily was gone for church today, I sat in my house, bored and just with my thoughts, trying to think of potential conversations that I could have with Emily. It was either that, or think about _other_ things. Unspeakable other thing. So I preferred thinking about talking to Emily.

I wondered what she was doing right now.

* * *

Through the big, towering double doors, and the long isle, Emily walked through, finding a seat in the front. She sat, picking up a bible from the bottom of her seat. She wasn't too late, and she wasn't too early either. The church was half filled, and in just about a few minutes, Emily knew it was going to be a packed house.

The choir was beginning to set up, and Emily noticed that slowly, the boys were coming back into the choir. She had missed the lower voices of the males, which she preferred over the higher pitched voices of the females. Sometimes, their voices just sounded screechy, y`know?

Emily has heard a tiny bit of why they had been gone for so long. Something about being lost or missing, she wasn't exactly sure. Their airplane had crash landed on some place in the middle of nowhere. No parents and no adult to help them, they were alone. They had been gone for a long time, she wondered how they survived. She wondered if they got along or not, but figured they probably had. Or they wouldn't have stayed alive.

Emily pitied them, she couldn't begin imagine how heartbreakingly awful it must be to be lost.

Her prayers had been with them ever since she heard of it.

Each and everyone of them.

_**When you feel embarrassed then I'll be your pride  
When you need directions then I'll be the guide**_

The orgen sounded, the choir began to raise their voices in various chords and notes. The service was beginning.

Emily stood for the worship song, reading out the song book that was placed in front of her. She mouthed the words along to the song, looking up from the book every now and again to look at the choir.

She was glad to see the boys in the choir again. The choir had a much fuller, bigger sound because of them. It sounded amazing, she was in awe.

* * *

I flung a rock into the shallow river. It skipped twice.

I grabbed another rock that was next to me, flinging it into the river again. My feet hung off the side of the bridge, swinging back and fourth, hitting the side of the bridge with my shoes' heels. I saw the reflection of the bottom of my shoes accompanied by ripples in the water.

I sat on the edge of bridge that Emily and I crossed occasionally while walking through the neighborhood. It towered over the river. I felt like I should be scare that it was so high, but I didn't mind the height; I felt like I was use to it.

It was warmer than usual today, the sun was shining bright.

_**Then looking upwards  
I strain my eyes **_

_"Bored?"_

_"Yeah."_

_I looked over to the boy sitting next to me, not really minding his presense. I felt like I've seen his damaged, sunburnt face before. I wondered how he got so badly burnt, it was the middle of November. He was shirtless, wearing destroyed shorts. His bare feet were dirty, having blisters and cuts all over them, his hair was an oily mess, and his teeth were yellow._

_"Girlfriend's gone today?" He asked, laughing a little bit. _

_"Emily's not my girlfriend." I replied, a little annoyed at the question. I threw another rock into the river. _

_"So her name's Em-lee?" The filthy boy grinned, "Where'd she run off to?"_

_I looked over to the filthy boy, "She went to the city, to go to church."_

_"Ah . . . she's churchy." He snickered, "That's nice." There was a brief silence, before he began to talk again. "So are you ever gonna tell her?" _

_"Tell her . . ." I held on to the last syllable, hinting the filthy boy to finish the sentence._

_"You know what I'm talking about."_

_I paused, hesistant, but followed it with a slight laugh. Brushing the question off like it was nothing. I didn't really want to talk about it. Not even with a replica of myself. I didn't answer the filthy boy._

_"No?" The filthy boy cocked an eyebrow, "Scared she'll reject you? Coward?"_

_It was obvious that she wou__ld reject me if she ever had found out what I had done. I didn't know her enough to suddenly open up to her, and even if I did know her enough, I certainly wouldn't tell her a thing. I needed her friendship too much to lose her. If Emily someday knew what I'd done, I'd think she run into the forest, screaming 'Murderer!'_

_"She won't understand." I replied, long after he had asked. I tried to refrain from looking at him, "And of course I'm coward." I licked my lips, reaching for another rock. "No one'll understand."_

"Ralph?"

I jumped, looking around. The rock fell straight down, and the filthy boy disappeared.

"Wha- Oh!" I slid off the side of the bridge, onto the walkway. "Emily! When'd you get here?"

"Just now," She replied with a smile, hands holding her bicycle, and her bicycle basket holding a paper bag. "I tried knocking on your door before, but your parents said you went somewhere." She laughed, "Wasn't too hard to find you." Emily let down her bicycle, laying it by the bridge's wall. "And look what I got," She grabbed what was inside the paper bag, a plastic tray of various sweets. Eclairs, cakes, and mousses. "I thought you'd like these."

Despite the fact I wasn't too fond of sweets, I still felt flattered. "Really? For me?"

"Well, for _us_." Emily sat down, back against the wall of the bridge, next to her bicycle. She patted the empty space next to her, "C`mon sit."

I did so, grabbing a small piece of sponge cake right after. "How was the church service?" I asked, mouth partially full of sponge cake.

* * *

Emily knelt at the feet of the Saint's statue. Awkwarly and unsurely, she bowed her head to it. Almost temped to even say 'hello' to the beautiful piece of stone.

Thoughts about the whole week quickly rushed into her mind, thoughts about herself, thoughts about her parents fighting, thoughts about Ralph. All the worries, all the chaos, all of the things that didn't quite add up came into her brain. She thought of the few night before today, her parents yelling in the room across from her. How she couldn't go to sleep because their shouts were so loud. She thought about Ralph, and how peculiar he seemed to be. That one night were he snuck into her house was burned into her memory. Something was off about him, something was bothering him, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it. She paused for a little bit, trying to gather up pice of her thoughts to come up with a prayer.

She looked up, starring into the statue's eyes. '_You there?_' She asked in her head. '_I have many things to tell you. Is that okay?'_

_**I ask and you smile  
With my feet on the dash  
The world doesn't matter**_

Emily smiled back at the statue, bowing her head.

She began to pray.

* * *

"It was nice." Emily replied, "I was happy I got to go today, I had a lot of things to think about." She smiled as she picked up a piece of cake, not bothering to pick up a napkin with it or anything, she'd rather eat with her hands. "_A lot_ of thing." She took a bite of it, the whipped cream falling on the tip of her nose. Not noticing, she continued, "And also-"

I began laughing, cutting off her sentence. "Wait, wait, wait." I told her, still snickering underneath my words. I leaned over to her, using my index finger to wipe of the whipped cream on her nose. I grinned at her, showing her my finger full of the whipped cream. "Sorry, I couldn't look at your straight with _this_ on your nose."

"Oh!" Emily blushed, a pinkish tone showing up underneath her freckles.

"Embarressed?" I nudged her with my elbow softly, still laughing slightly.

_**I ask and you smile  
With my feet on the dash  
The world doesn't matter**_

Emily picked up a napkin, rubbing it on her mose to make sure the whipped cream was gone. She covered her face with it, so that I couldn't see the pink tones underneath her skin. She giggled, smiling and raising her hand in a fist to hit my shoulder playfully. "Shut up!"

_**When you feel embarrassed then I'll be your pride  
When you need directions then I'll be the guide  
For all time**_

I let Emily begin talking, telling me about how the service was going. The study, the choir, and the boys in the choir begin back from a trip or something, I wasn't paying much attention to that part. She rambled a little bit, but I didn't mind. I just liked being outside, with a friend on an autumn afternoon. It was perfect.

I barely even noticed the sun going down.

_**For all time**_


	5. It's so Tiring

**A/N:** Is it too early for some drama to happen? I've been thinking about this for awhile, and it seems like the right time. I hope it doesn't seem like I just jumped straight into this. Dx Also, there's another tiny time skip. A few more weeks since the last chapter. c:

This chapter contain some . . . language. xD Not much, but I'm sorry if it offends you. I figured that Emily and Ralph were kind old enough to hear those kind of words. I pictured them as thirteen/fourteen year olds. But if it seems unfitting, you all could tell me in a nice way. xD

Anyways, thanks for all the lovely reviews. You guys keep me going!

Annnndddd, I'm going back to Cali soon. So when I update it won't be at some retarded time.

Enjoy this chapter pleaseeee. :DDDD

**Song: Company Calls - Death Cab for Cutie**

**

* * *

**

**No Sunlight: Chapter Five  
**

_**It's so Tiring**_

"Goddamn you Sarah! Goddamn you!"

"Me? Really? Am _I _the one who is never with us at night? Am _I_ the one who tries to wake up early and sneak to go to wherever the hell _I_ want to go? Am I?"

"Don't go blaming this on me, Sarah. You batty bitch!"

_**Set your sights!  
Destroy this mock-shrine!  
Because it's so tired **_

Emily slid past the front door, taking off her overcoat. She didn't want to hear anything of the fighting, so she didn't even stop to look at them. It hurt too much to stay and ask questions. She headed straight towards her room, not knowning if her parents had seen her or not. But she could really care less.

She just wanted them to stop fighting.

Emily slammed the door shut, locking it and went straight to her bed. She took a pillow, hugging tightly, pressing it close to her. She bit her lip, and dug her face deep into the pillow, tears beginning to form, but her cries were unheard. She didn't want to make a sound, she didn't want the two of them to barge into her room and ask her what was wrong.

Because the only thing that was wrong, were them.

And they should know it too.

Emily couldn't move from the position she was in. She was still, nothing but silent and motionless. She practically layed dead on her bed, time flying by without bothering her a bit. It wasn't long before she drifted off into sleep.

* * *

I tapped my finger against the window, "Emily." I called into the glass, "Emily open the front door."

I managed to make my way to Emily's window again. I figured that I was much too old to waldle into my parent's bedroom, blanket in hand, complaining of lack of ablity to sleep. They would surely send me back to my room, or the living room, and tell me just to deal with it. Or perhasp they would let me down more lightly, since of what happened not too long ago.

But never-the-less, they would tell me to deal with it.

And that was where Emily came in, I was sure she would welcome me with open arms. Keeping company like she always does, and does well.

These cold December nights kept getting colder and colder, I swear. My skin, which was getting healthier looking, and paler I should add, was accompanied by goosebumps. It had been a little less than a month since moving here, and to say the least, I wasn't used to it at all. The desertedness of this bloody English Countryside nonsense was killing me, if it wasn't for Emily, I would have gone mad by now.

No answer came, so I knocked on the glass this time. A much louder, deeper sound coming out of it, "Emily," I repeated, "You awake?"

The sudden sliding of the window startled me, and I jumped. Eyes widening at the sight of Emily, still wearing her normal clothes, as compared to her usual night gowns. Her eyes were red, puffy, looking tired. Her cheeks were slightly pink, dry tears running down them. She didn't look in the mood to deal with me, or anyone.

"What do you want?" She asked, her voice weak and almost inaudible.

"You okay?" I asked her quickly after she spoke, ignoring whatever she had said before. "What happened?"

Emily paused, wiping some of the dried up tears from her cheeks. She rubbed her eyes for a second. "Nothing involving you, okay?" She spat out, like it was nothing. "What do you want?"

"To talk?" I suggested, trying to fake a small grin just for her. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

It was the least I could do, I supposed. Emily had been nothing but nice and generous ever since I moved here. Even though there were times where I could just tell she was ready to run to the forest and desert me, she stayed. She's been helping me slowly, despite the fact that she didn't know exactly what was bothering me. And right now, I think I wasn't the only one with problems.

_**Let's cut our losses at both ends**_

Even if my problems outweighed her's, she still had problems.

And they were big problems to her.

"`Kay," Emily frowned, "I'll open the front door."

* * *

"Are you gonna sleep over again?" Emily asked, not bothering to give me a warm smile to welcome me.

I knew this side of Emily exsisted, I really did, but I had never seen it.

Seeing her upset, seeing her so sad was heartbreaking.

"Can I?"

"Sure." Emily's thin pinkish lips curled downwards, she motion for me to begin to walk towards her room. She locked the door behind me, and plopped herself onto her bed. Laying on her side, facing towards me with a blank stare. I think she expected me to begin talking.

I noticed, and began. I sat on the bed next to her, sitting very close to the edge, about where her stomach was, "Do _you_ wanna talk about it?" I asked her, unsure of what kind of tone to use. I wasn't the best at comforting people, actually I didn't know anything about comforting people. All I could do is pat their shoulder, and give them some false type of hope.

Like, whipser 'It's gonna be okay' and just hope all is good.

_**I'll take the best of your bad moods  
And dress them up to make a better you**_

"My parents . . ." Emily began, holding a pillow close to her. She hugged it tightly, like it was some prized possession and it completely and utterly was her's and her's only. "They . . . you know."

"Fought?" I questioned, looking at Emily. It was hard to look at her right now, I wasn't sure if I was even allowed to. Was it right to look at a girl while she was near tears? Was that allowed? Should I just excuse myself right now? Should I leave her alone? Oh gosh, was _I_ supposed to comfort her?

One thing I didn't understand was that it was so easy for her to talk about her problems. But when it came to me, I came up with excuses that were completely idiotic and useless. They seemed like a waste of time. How could she so easily open up to me?

Did she trust me already?

"Yes, continuously." Emily replied, making me lose my train of thought. Her big brown eyes looked up at me, digging holes into my own. I looked away from her quickly, and refrained from looking at her. I thought she was about to cry. "It's awful. The yelling, the cursing. The two of them aren't for each other."

I fell short of knowing what to say. So I stayed silent, with guilt. I felt like I should have said something, _anything_ for that matter. Even if I had told her about some events in particular that I wasn't too fond of, it still would have made some difference. If I had told her how much more my life _sucked_ than her's, it would have made a difference.

But I stopped myself from bringing it up.

I feared that Emily would think it was some kind of batty bullshit.

"They were never in love." Emily added, forcing me back into reality. Which was next to Emily, in her room. "It was only lust."

I bit my lip, her words pieced my ears. They were cold, icy, lacking any sort of warm, positive emotion.

"That's all it ever was: lust, sex, whatever."

I was about to speak, but then I was interrupted by a sudden knock. Emily shot up from her bed, sitting up straight and looking around. My body stood up, as if waiting for order from a captain or something. I looked around, wondering what to do.

If her parents had found out a guy was in her room, late in the night, they wouldn't think anything, would they? We were still kids anyways, just a tiny bit older.

Emily rose to her feet, pushing against my back, forcing me underneath her bed. "Here." She said, kneeling down next to me, as I crawled underneath the bed. Next to dust bunnies of all shapes and sizes. "This is the only good place you could hide." She paused, and awkwardly reached out to touch my arm, as if she had to reassure me or something. "Just stick here now . . . it won't take that long."

She walked towards the door, unlocking it and opening it to reveal her mother. At least I think was her mother, it seemed like whoever walked in was wearing a night grown.

"Emily?" It was a women's voice, weak and vulnerable. "You still awake?"

Emily nodded, and laid down on her bed. As if she was planning on going back to sleep, trying to tell her mother to leave the room. She closed her eyes, but let one remained a tiny bit open. Hopefully the one that was open was not very noticeable.

"Can I ask you something, Emily?" Her mother asked, not waiting for a reply from Emily at all. Once she knew she was listening, she continued. "You know me and your father are . . . not getting along so much these days." She fumbled over her words, like she was preparing for this but completely forgot what to say all of a sudden. "And it seems hard to live with each other, every day in and day out. We could barely stand each other." She gulped, "You know that the only reason we're living together is because of you."

"And?" Emily cut her off. She knew she wasn't ready for whatever the mother was going to say next.

"I was wondering what you thought if we separated for quite a bit." Her mother said quickly, like she didn't want to be heard. "You would move with me, to my sister's place in the city." She paused, "And your father would stay here."

My mouth dropped, but I knew I couldn't do anything.

"Move?" Emily squeaked out, "Like, anyway from here?"

"Yes, so they _we_ can have a fresh slate," Her mother replied, her voice sounding calm and sincere. "What do you think?"

I knew what I thought.

"I don't know, I need . . . time, yeah. I need to think about it."

"Okay." There was a small pause, "Goodnight Emily. I love you."

"You too."

The door slammed shut.

"You hear that?" Emily got off her bed, standing in front of it to wait for me, who was still underneath, trying to get back up.

"How could I not?"

"Sorry, I just think . . ." Emily sighed heavily, sitting on her bed again, while I stood up. "Well, I don't know what I think."

"Are you considering it?" I frowned while I stood up.

Emily looked up at me, "I - I -' She choked, beginning to stutter.

"You what?"

"I don't know . . . maybe."


	6. Goodnight

**A/N: **short-short-SHORT chapter. xD I'm even ashamed to call this a chapter.

Not one of my favorites, but I kind had to go through this to move on.

**Song: Brothers on a Hotel Bed - Death Cab for Cutie** _(changed a few of the lyrics)_

* * *

**No Sunlight: Chapter Six**

_**Goodnight (From Separate Sides)  
**_

_**You may tire of me  
As our December sun is setting**_  
'_**Cause I'm not who I used to be**_

"I don't know . . . maybe."

Was I supposed to be outraged? Was I suppose to accept it? Was I suppose to scream and yell? I wasn't too sure, but I did none of that. I forced my mouth shut, since I figured that would have dropped open right now. It wasn't that I couldn't believe that she would leave me, trust me, I believed she would, but I couldn't believe she was thinking of moving away.

Didn't Emily say that she loved it here?

Didn't she mean it?

"I just . . ." Emily paused, "I just prefer if I lived with my mother, rather than my father."

Sucks to whatever _she _prefers.

_**With your arms outstretched, trying to take flight  
Leaving everything behind**_

"Do you . . ." I squeaked out suddenly, not exactly knowing where my words where taking me. I let my mouth handle it though, hoping it wouldn't betray me. "Do you think you're going anytime soon?" I asked, frowning at her. I think she could tell I was less than pleased.

"It could be anytime, I think." She replied, shrugging her shoulders and getting on her bed again. She pulled up the covers and tucking herself in. I joined her, sitting on the side of her bed. "Anytime my mother feels like it." She sighed heavily, "Anytime she gets pushed too far."

That could have been anytime. By the way Emily had been explaining it, she could be whisked away to the city right now if her mother wanted too. She could be taken from me just like that, not caring who or what she left behind.

But honestly, what she was leaving behind wasn't much.

I just hoped she would never realize that.

"Emily?" I began. No reply, but I continued on anyways. "Emily, do you like this?" My voice cracked on some words, but I went on. Rambling and rambling, expecting that she was listening to every word I was saying. "Like in general, Don't you like the countryside? The openness?" I paused, and I continued onto this last bit. "The people you've met?"

No reply still, Emily turned her back to me, hugging the pillow in front of her.

I reached out to her, gently shaking her shoulder, "Emily?" I asked, "We're you listening?"

She groaned, rubbing her eyes. "Huh?" Emily asked, her eyes still closed. "Oh my. I'm sorry Ralph." She adjusted her pillow, turning it over. Pressing her head against the pillow, she began to sound more tired and sleepy as she continued talking. "I just . . . I'm tired."

So, she wasn't listening to anything I was saying?

Shit.

"Goodnight Ralph." Emily yet out a final yawn, rolled over with her back to me, "I'll try to wake up early again." And soon enough, she fell asleep.

"'Night."

I looked down at her, sleeping peacefully. Just like she had that night in November. Snoring silently, slightly opened mouth, and hair in her face. The same sweet, oblivious girl I had seen the first day I had been here.

She was going to leave.

_**Because now we say goodnight  
From our own separate sides**_

"_She seems promising, Ralph."_

_Not promising enough, she was leaving soon._

"_Em-lee, right? You think she can hear me?"_

_I shook my head to the filthy boy, who sat across the room. Back against the wall, feet stretched across the wooden floor, his dirty, stinky self making the room smell. I didn't exactly want him to be in the room right now._

_And it was either because I didn't like him too much, or the fact that Emily was __right here._

_He probably noticed, I'm surprised he didn't say anything yet._

"_So what're doing here, Ralph?" He asked, cocked eyebrow and arms crossed. "Creepin' and snugglin' with a girl while she sleeps?" The filthy boy smirked, "Can ya say desperate?"_

"_It's not like that." I said bluntly, "Plus, I'll be going back to my home anyway." I looked back to Emily, sleeping soundly, a thin line of drool coming out of her mouth. "I forgot to ask her if she would let me sleep here."_

_

* * *

_"_Why're we leaving so early?"_

"_I wanna go back to my house."_

"_Ralph, we both know that's not what you want."_

_I cocked an eyebrow at him, while I shut Emily's front door. The filthy boy wanted to start something, and I think was on to him. _

"_Want do ya mean?"_

_The filthy laughed, hiding his mouth underneath the hand place over it, "We both know you want to march back into that house." He pointed to Emily's house, "And plea for that girl to stay." He smiled, grinning to one side. "Plea, get down on your knees. Anything to get her to stay." _

_Silence._

"_Isn't that right, Ralph?"_

_I began walking away._

"_Shut up." I replied, hand in my pockets.  
_

_The filthy boy caught up to me, grinning happily, walking with the same speed as I, which was not too fast. He looked over to me, stained yellow teeth showing. "Face the reality."_

_I picked up my leg's speed, managing to make it to my front door before him. I opened it, walking inside. The filthy stood at my door step, continuing to talk. I let him, and kept the door open, not inviting him in.  
_

"_She's gonna be gone." The filthy boy said, "Like Piggy, like Simon. She's gone. Just not for good." _

_**Who turned your way and saw **_  
_** Something he was not looking for**_

_I shut the door on him._

**_Not a beginning just an end  
_**


	7. New Year

**A/N: **klasjfkljdasflkjdasf

Hokay, soooo this chapter has dates. I _think_ Lord of the Flies happened during the beginning of WW2, but I could be wrong. D; And since it didn't mention dates in the story, I don't think it should matter. Plus, the year 1940 is nothing significant to the plot. c:

Enjoyyyy this next chapter ~ c:

**Song: **The New Year - Death Cab for cutie

* * *

**No Sunlight: Chapter Seven**_**  
New Year**_

"Well folks, in about thirty minutes it will be the year of 1940. So get your best dresses and suits on! Get your wine glasses ready and stay tuned. We still have some more time to play some classic tunes before the new year officially begins."

My mother and father sat together, snuggling on the couch in the living room. Coffee table in front of them, accompanied by a radio, a tall wine bottle and two wine glasses on top of it. My father slung his arm over my mother's shoulder, her head was buried into his shoulder. Her lips were perfectly smeared with dark red lipstick, they curled into a satisfied smile. My father smiled as well.

It was like young love.

But they were just old.

I had just dressed myself after a bath when I saw them. Maybe it was just a gut feeling, but I was pretty sure I would be refraining from talking to them or hanging anywhere near the living room while the radio was counting down the seconds until New Year.

I put on an overcoat, buttoning it up just as I was walking outside. I ran my hand through my slightly damp hair, half messing it up and half trying to dry it. My body shivered in the navy blue coat, and I had thought that this coat had actually kept me warm. Shoving my hand it my pockets I continued to the next house down, Emily's house.

I knocked twice.

"Ralph!" Emily exclaimed as she opened the door, eyes lighting up and a smile creeping on her face. I glanced at her, top to bottom. A gray pleated dress with white tights underneath, and a heavy coat slung over her shoulder. Her hands were at her sides, one of them carrying to glasses by the rim and the other holding a bottle of sparkling cider. I noticed she was wearing a watch. She brought her arms up, giving them to me. "Hold these really quick." She slipped on her over coat, not bothering to button it up. "'Kay, you ready?"

I nodded, and motion for her to join me outside.

Emily shut the door behind her, and jumped onto the pavement. She walked beside me, at the same pace I was going.

"Can you believe it's already the new year?" She asked me, giggling. "Everything going by too fast." She looked over to me, "I mean, it's already been more than a month since I've met you."

"Yeah." I agreed, not exactly knowing what to reply with.

The thing was, everything _was_ going by too fast. And I was sure Emily leaving would be fast, quick, and painful. It wasn't that I necessarily needed Emily, per se. I needed _someone_. Now, I'm not saying that Emily is just some default friend, I like her - wait, _what_? No, no, no. That's not exactly it. I just . . . I dunno.

Ugh, god damn my lack of useful vocabulary.

* * *

Emily sat on the walking way of the bridge, back leaning against the side of the bridge. She patted the empty space next to her, looking up at me. "C'mon sit."

I did so, sitting right in front of her. Legs crossed and back hunched over. I fiddled with my hands, avoiding to look at Emily, though I had a feeling that she was oblivious to my feelings about her leaving. I'm sure she knew I would be upset, but maybe she didn't think I would be _that _upset_. _

I think I would be _that_ upset.

Emily twisted the bottle cap off of the bottle of sparkling cider, pouring it into the glasses.

She handed me a glasses, smiling as she did so.

* * *

"Just for once, can't we try and be happy? For the sake of Emily?"

"Emily? _Emily_? How about being happy for the sake of _us_?"

_**So this is the New Year  
And I don't feel any different**_

Sarah bit her lip, lowering her head. She didn't dare to look at him right now.

They both knew that was never going to happen.

* * *

"How much longer?" I asked, leaning in closer to Emily. Glass empty, due to the fact we weren't talking too much. I wasn't sure if it was a good silence or not. Like if we just didn't have much to say, or it was just some kind of awkward tension. But whatever it was I didn't like it.

"Five minutes." Emily replied, looking from her watch to me. Her eye's widened as her realized how close to her face I was. She smiled, trying to brush off it off. "So . . . Ralph?"

I cocked an eyebrow to her, "Hm?"

"Do you have a resolution?"

_**So this is the new year****  
And I have no resolutions****  
For self assigned penance  
For problems with easy solutions**_

I smiled at her, obviously avoiding the question. It was partly because I didn't exactly have one, and partly because the first 'resolution' type thing that popped into my head didn't seems exactly fitting for me. The whole New Year's resolution thing never caught up to me, and I never really thought about it.

But I could think of many things I would like to change about me.

But I was sure no stupid resolution could change that.

"Eh, not really." I shrugged, hoping not seeming uncomfortable. "I'm not into that kinda stuff."

* * *

"Not even on fucking New Year's."

The door slammed.

"Are you serious Sarah?"

No answer.

She didn't need to.

* * *

"Do you have a resolution?" I asked Emily, quickly after I had told her I didn't have.

Emily shrugged, placing her sparkling cider glass down, "Sorta." She sighed, slumping her back against the side of the bridge. "It's kinda like . . ." She paused, pressing her lips together, "Um, I wanna . . . " Her words shot out of her mouth in short phases. I had no idea where she was getting at. "My," another pause, "parents."

I nodded.

"Yeah," She scratched her head, looking down. Emily gulped, eyes narrowed and focusing her gaze on the ground. "It's not exactly a resolution, but . . ." She glanced at me, then back down. "I want them to be together."

* * *

"You know damn well you've crossed the line!" Sarah shouted from behind the closed door.

She stuffed clothes and belonging into bags, picking up everything that seemed to be her's. There weren't any tears rolling down, nor was there any water in her eyes. Only pure frustration and anger. Her eyebrows slanted, lips firmly pressed together, and hand scattered about the master bedroom, ridding all of her possessions from it.

* * *

"Ralph!" Emily shook me, dropping me back into reality. "It's almost midnight!" She smiled at me which looking up from her watch. I blinked a few times, nearly asleep and extremely exhausted. "Ten seconds."

Her smiled was so big.

"Five seconds."

I wasn't so sure if I was going to try and stick to my resolution.

"Four."

But I knew I wanted to.

"Three."

The thing was,

"Two."

I didn't know how.

"One."

This year, I want someone who understands me.

* * *

I held the empty sparkling cider bottle in my hand, and Emily held the two glasses. It was dark, very dark. If it hadn't been for the very dim lights coming from the inside of people's houses, Emily and I would have never figured out which road lend to home. We walked in silence, but this time it was a comforting one. Emily walked closer to me than usual, occasionally bumping into my arm every so often. I didn't mind though.

We both walked onto Emily's door step.

Emily then did something out of the blue. Maybe it was just me who thought it was weird though. Emily stepped forward, and then - well, she hugged me. Her arms wrapped around my neck and she held onto me, tight. My arms stood frozen at my sides.

It had caught me off guard, what can I say?

"Happy New Year Ralph." Emily giggled, smiling at me.

My cold skin soon turned warm. I felt my cheek grow red, "H-happy New Year Emily." I replied, not as smooth as I thought. I attempted to smile back.

She walked into her house, smiling at me as she shut the door.

I waved back at her.

Smooth Ralph, smooth.

* * *

The New Year is a time of renewal. New year, new me, new attitude, new everything. It was the time to deal with the bad things and make them good, the time to start fresh and clean. It was the time for Emily anyway. Or so she had thought.

As Emily shut the door, she was quickly grabbed by her mother by her wrist.

"Emily, listen to me okay?" Her eyes were red and insane looking. Emily was a little taken back by it but she didn't refuse to listen. "We're going." The words were sharp, and the tone was anything but motherly.

It was like Emily didn't know who this woman was.

"Now."

_**So this is the new year**_


	8. Lack of Color

**A/N: **skldjflsdjafjdf

Sorry for the lateness of this chapter ._.  
I been procrastinating, honestly. I'm not even going to pretend that I was busy. D;

I hope this chapter is all good though ~  
Please enjoy it

Also please reviewww ! :DD

**Song: Lack of Color - Death Cab for Cutie**

**

* * *

**

**No Sunlight: Chapter Eight**

_**Lack of Color**_

It had been days, maybe even weeks.

"Honey? Did you even go to sleep?"

I had stopped keeping track of time a long time ago.

_**This is fact, not fiction  
For the first time in years**_

It was the second Sunday of the New Year, and I was one the couch of my living room. My mother sat next to me, asking questions, maybe even greeting me with a 'good morning'. I ignored her, still a bit bitter.

My mother soon gave up on trying to make me happy, and walked herself to the kitchen. A defeated look growing on her face.

* * *

Emily walked down the city's sidewalks, dress shoes clicking against the cement along with all of the other city folk's shoes. Her eyes wandered around aimlessly, seeing that there was so much to look at in the city. The tall building, the automobiles, the people. Everything was so much different here.

But she was to be going to church today, by herself as usual. She stuffed her hands in her overcoat's pockets, picking up the speed in her shoes and beginning to walk faster. She was hoping she wouldn't arrive late to church.

She arrived at the towering double doors with time to spare. Emily took off her overcoats as she walked through the doors, down the isle into the front section of the sanctuary. Once she had sat herself down, she took off her gloves, rubbing her hands together so they would warm up.

The winter days were harsh.

Emily had to admit, she had grown somewhat used to city living. But did she enjoy it? Not one bit. It was just as lonely as before. Before Ralph had waltzed into her life that is. She was still with her emotionally confused mother, she was still home schooled, and she had no one to hang out with. The only that has changed was that she wasn't living with her father anymore, and she wasn't seeing Ralph everyday. The two were equally horrible to deal with, and they didn't outweigh one another.

They were equally bad.

Emily stood up, the worship and the service beginning. She took the hymn book from the pocket of the bench in font of her, opening it and reciting the lyrics written in it. Emily barely spoke the words out, but she mouthed the words, like it was a prayer to her.

The words she spoke, she hoped, was reaching up to the heavens.

Emily wanted her life back.

* * *

"_You scared her away?"_

"_I'm pretty sure that was you." I looked to the familiar looking boy next to me. He was still looking as dirty as ever, dirt marks and a cocky grin painted on his face. He was annoying me, but that wasn't anything new. "It wasn't like I could have done anything to make her stay."_

_The filthy boy chuckled to himself, turning his face back to the river. His legs swung back and fourth, hitting the side of the bridge with his heels. Hands grasping the railing of the bridge. "If you say so Ralph." He replied. _

_I wasn't so sure what he was implying._

_It wasn't like I was plotting for Emily to move or anything._

_**All the girls in every girlie magazine  
Can't make me feel any less alone**_

_That was the last thing I wanted to happen._

"_I don't even know where you're getting at." I spat back, turning my attention to the river as well. _

_The last thing I wanted to see was his face. _

_So thank God I couldn't see my reflection in the water._

_

* * *

_

The service had ended, and Emily stood up. Putting on her gloves, following that with her overcoat. She wanted to leave as soon as possible. Emily has something in mind for the rest of the day today, and she was as excited as ever.

She tugged on her coat, pulling it down so it looked right.

Stuffing her hands in her coat's pocket, Emily soon headed out.

* * *

I was alone. Alone, solo, whatever you wanted to call it.

Sure, I was with the filthy boy, but he wasn't a person.

He was a monster.

_He laughed, joking with a carefree attitude. The filthy boy had no cares in the world, no regrets, nothing that made him the slightest bit of sad. "Ralph, you know you make me laugh?"_

_I cocked an eyebrow at him, not replying._

"_You'll never except the fact that no one can help you now." He grinned at me, a crooked grin with crooked yellow teeth. "I mean, you're so funny."_

_I stayed silent, not bothering to give him the satisfaction that he's making me feel awful. _

"_And you're so stubborn." _

_But he and I both knew he was making me feel pretty low right now._

_"That's probably why that Emily girl likes you so much."  
_

"Ralph?"

Dress shoes clicked against the stone pavement, a small girl jogged up the bridge's passageway. Her light brown hair bouncing up, big brown eyes wide and looking around for something or someone. She grinned as her eyes laid on me, eyes blinking and instantly brightening up.

"_Well, would you look who's here."_

"_Shut up."_

"Ralph!" Emily's voice rang in my ears, the all too familiar sound of her calling my name renewed itself again. And it felt kind of good hearing my name from her voice.

_**And when I see you  
I really see you upside down**_

This scene was familiar to me, deja vu. "Emily!" I quickly replied back, a little taken back at her suddenly showing up. "When'd you get here?"

_**But my brain knows better  
Picks you up and Turns you around**_

"The service had ended a few hours ago," She replied, "You're parents said you'd gone off somewhere." Emily smiled, knowing she had said something similar to this before. "I figured . . ." Her voiced trailed off, knowing I'd know what she was about to say.

I nodded. And despite my confusion, I smiled.

_**Turns you around**_

She giggled, and inched towards me. Crawling up on the side of the bridge, sitting herself down next to me. Emily smiled back at me.

"It's nice seeing you Ralph." She looked down at the river, kicking her legs up. Her heels beginning to swing, hitting the wall of the bridge. Emily lips seemed like they were forever curled up into a small smile, some satisfied grin that never seemed to stop.

It suited her.

I looked to her, and quickly back down at the river. "You too." I replied quickly, a bit awkwardly as well. It was odd for a boy my age to be all touchy and emotional. And there was the risk that I would sound like a little girl if I poured my feelings out to Emily about how I've missed her.

I'm a wreck, yes. But I'm still a boy.

"_You know what's a good idea?" The filthy boy was still sitting on the other side of me, he grabbed my shoulder, making me turn to him. _

Emily began talking, and I didn't know what she was talking about. The filthy boy had my attention in his hands, speaking into my ear, trying to be hushed and quiet with Emily right in front of us. He had even admitted that he wasn't sure if Emily could see him or not, but he continued on anyways. Whispering ideas into my ears and making me not listen to Emily's stories.

For all I know, she could be confessing something big to me.

"_Why don't you just talk about it to her?"_

_I shook my head, still looking down at the river. Telling her about myself and my problems was hardly ever an option. I've thought about it, and thought about it, and thought about it. Never. It wasn't something you just told to someone. I'm sure if I had told her, anyone for that matter they would just lock my up in a looney house._

"What do you think I should do Ralph?"

I jumped, looking over to Emily looking back at me.

"Were you listening?"

I didn't exactly answer back to that, but instead I was searching for some excuse. I know that last thing Emily wanted to see out of her coming back for this time was me ignoring her. It was rude if I had been. And she'd probably just decide it wasn't worth coming back if I was rude to her. God, why couldn't one person talk at a time?

"I guess there's nothing really you can do." I replied back, choosing a non - direct answer so it would cover up me not paying attention to her stories.

Emily sighed, "I guess my New Year's resolution isn't gonna happen then." Her lips curled into a frown, loosing her satisfied smile and her peppiness. "I don't understand why they were together for so long when they don't need each other. "

I didn't know what to say to her exactly, so I stayed silent. Letting Emily rant and let out her steam. I never liked when she got all worked up and in a bad mood, it just made everything else get worse and worse.

I knew it was going to happen, but I didn't want it to.

* * *

The sky was getting darker, and Emily needed to go to the train station soon.

The whole day we had just been talking. About her problems specifically. But I wasn't much help though, since I had never been through anything that she's been going through. Was it weird that I felt bothered that she was able to talk about her problems so freely? It seemed so easy for her. As long as there was someone to hear her problems, she'll talk about them. I wasn't sure why I couldn't talk about my problems.

_**If you feel discouraged  
****When there's a lack of color here****  
Please don't worry lover  
It's really bursting at the seams**_

"You know I can't do this a lot, right?" Emily asked. She was close to me, awkwardly close, but a part of me didn't mind very much. We were practically squished side-by-side, and her head leaned against my shoulder the slightest bit, but I had noticed it like it was a sore thumb.

I looked down at her, still wearing her little frown and looking straight ahead towards the river. "Do what?" I asked back, fearing the worst. I knew exactly what she was talking about, but I felt like if I stalled the answer, it would cushion the blow.

Emily peered up at me, "You know . . . _this_." She sighed, and looked back, straight ahead. "It costs money going on trains, and it costs time going here and coming back." Emily explained, saying like she's said it before. "I've living with my mother and my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to find jobs for them in the city? My mother had hardly worked before, and just making enough to live and eat is hard enough." She paused, taking a deep breath, "As much as I want to, I can't come here often, barely at all even. As much as I want to be friends and everything, I still need to eat."

_**And on your machine, I slur a plea  
For you to come home**_

"I just can't Ralph, I can't. You understand, right?"

I nodded, as much as I didn't want to. I wanted to whine, bitch, and complain. Beg her to stay, not for the sake of myself, stay for the sake of being home. But I couldn't, I had to accept the fact that her mother and father were separated for the time being. I couldn't do anything about that, I couldn't set them up, I couldn't shoot an arrow into their bottoms, I couldn't do squat.

"Yeah, I do."

Emily stood up, jumping off the bridge's railing and standing on the passageway. I did the same, standing in front of her.

"I guess I should get going now." Emily said, looking up at me and trying to smile. It was fake, but it was still nice. She stood there, arms clamped to her sides. She was thinking about pulling what she did to me on New Year's, but at the time being, I couldn't tell. "See you later, hopefully."

The 'hopefully' was uncalled for, but I'm sure she didn't mean it like that. "Bye." I waved at her, trying my best to smile back.

I waved as she walked away.

_**I know it's too late  
I should have given you a reason to stay**_

"_You didn't tell her." The filthy boy said once I turned back to the railing of the bridge. He sat there, a bored expression on his face and a slight frown. He sat on the railing as I stood in front of him._

_My smiled soon disappeared at the sight of him, "I know."_

_The filthy boy wore a smug smile, jumping off of the railing and walking over to stand beside me. He chuckled a little bit,"You're funny Ralph, you really are." He began walking forward, and I trailed behind him. _

_I guess it was about time we got home, it was almost completely dark after all._

_**Given you a reason to stay  
Given you a reason to stay**_

_I didn't understand many things._

_I didn't understand why Emily's parents were together for so long when they didn't need each other._

_And I didn't understand why Emily and I were apart when we needed each other._


	9. Breaking Down

**A/N: **sure, this chapter is short.  
but trust me, it's important. c:

please enjoy, despite the briefness of this ~  
and don't hesitant to write a review c:

**Song: Bad Reputation - Death Cab for Cutie**

* * *

**No Sunlight: Chapter Nine  
**_**Breaking Down**_

He kept talking.

He kept going on and on.

Good god, make it stop.

_**I know I got a bad reputation  
And it isn't just talk**_

We were both sitting in my room, he was sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall that was adjacent to the bed, which I was lounging on. I wondered if it was hard for him to get the clue that I didn't want to talk about it, or maybe he just enjoyed annoying me. Whatever it was, it gave him an excuse to stay. Which I didn't like one bit.

"_You're missing her, aren't you?" The filthy boy asked me, cocking an eyebrow and looking at me with a more than bored expression on his face. _

_**Don't try to be an inspiration  
You're just wasting your time**_

"_Just drop it." I replied, collapsing onto my bed. Laying my tired body down on my mattress. I stared up at the ceiling, thankful I didn't have to see his face. "Can't you tell I don't want to talk?"_

_He laugh to himself, "Yeah, I see that." The filthy boy shifted his sitting position, choosing to sit cross legged now. "Just thought you'd even think about talking about it."_

"_Suck to whatever you thought." I quickly said back at him, tucking my hands underneath my head and taking a deep breath in. "Well, I was never thinking about talking about it. I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to talk about anything. Get that through your thick head."_

"_You want to talk about it with Emily, don't you?"_

_He got me there._

"_Not-Well . . . it's whatever." I shrugged, words being tied up and falling out of my mouth like vomit. I had nothing to say back to him. "I'll talk to her when the time's right."_

"_The time was right so long ago Ralph." The filthy boy replied, acting like I was an idiot. "When you met her, when you first slept at her house, just earlier yesterday." I wanted him to be quiet, shut up and stitch his mouth so not a peep would dare to come out of that trap hole. But I couldn't do anything about that._

_Technically, he wasn't really here._

_**Your face is everywhere  
****Been turning around  
****Do you want me now?  
Do you want me now?**_

"_You're missing your chance, and you keep missing it." _

_Shut up. _

"_You're fucking insane for not taking a chance."_

_I wanted him to shut up._

_**I couldn't have one conversation  
If it wasn't for the lies  
And still I want to tell you everything**_

"_One day, Emily not going to visit."_

_**You know I'm about the best I'll ever be  
I see it in your eyes**_

"_She's gonna be gone Ralph. Just like nothing."_


	10. Winter Pass

**A/N: **ahhhh, filler chapter. xD  
I'm so sorry.

As I stated on my profile, school is completely consuming my life and I just can't seem to get a break.  
Seriously, I wrote this at like, midnight.

Hopefully you can enjoy this poor excuse for a chapterr~

**Song - Steadier Footing - Death Cab for Cutie**

* * *

**No Sunlight : Chapter Ten**  
**_Winter Pass_**

_**It's gotten late**_  
_**And now I want to be alone**_

The snow had thankfully stopped for now, but the concrete was still damped with puddles of water. Emily walked around them, her body shaking and her feet picking up the pace as she raced home. It was nearing the middle of February, Valentine's day just passing. Emily had become slightly accustomed to her new little life in the city, just letting the days go by without any effort needed. It wasn't like her mother and her aunt was going to fight anyways, right?

It had crossed her mind earlier, but the thought of Ralph seems to keep getting buried deeper and deeper to the back of her thoughts. She didn't know him for too long, but she supposed he was memorable. His odd behavior and his strange actions make him seem unforgettable. That, or just plain weird.

But sadly,

Emily was forgetting about him.

She kind of had to.

She wasn't rich, and she was barely getting by. The last time she had saw Ralph was when she said that they couldn't see each other as often as she'd like. If she wanted to see Ralph, she couldn't. And Emily didn't want to spend her days in the city just morning and crying over Ralph.

There wasn't anything she could do.

No choice.

* * *

"You there?" I whispered out loud, closing my bedroom's door right behind me.

**_All of our friends were here,_**  
**_They all have gone home_**

_"Yeah, yeah."_ The filthy boy replied, coming into view once I turned towards him. _"What do you want?"_

I heaved a sigh of relief, thankful I had some company tonight. I didn't feel like sleeping tonight anyways. My mouth curled into a smile for the filthy boy, a bit pleased that he showed up.

I enjoyed company.

Even his'.

But then again, did this count as company?

"I just wanted someone to talk to, y'know?" I said back to him, again speaking out loud.

I figured the filthy boy was much more than an imaginary friend, he was real. I could talk to him, he would reply, I would move, he would react, he can hurt me, but I couldn't do anything to him.

I admit I've fallen into a pit of desperation.

I'm desperate.

Completely and utterly desperate.

For company, for someone to talk to.

The filthy boy had filled in all of those positions, and I didn't mind his company anymore. His presence enlighten me, his voice now made me -for lack of a better word-happy.

For past few weeks I've been cooped up in my room, becoming a hermit with sickeningly pale color for skin, barely even talking to my own parents. I wouldn't say I've locked myself from the outside world, but I'm sure my mother would say otherwise.

That was because she didn't understand me, my father didn't understand me,

only the filthy boy sitting on my bed understands me.

He knows what I've been through.

He knows what I've seen.

I'm sure he knows more about me than I do.

Suddenly, I had heard a knock at my door, I jumped, quickly turning to the door.

"H-Hello?" I called out to the wooden door, like it was the one that knocked.

"You okay?" I heard my mother's voice ask from the other side. "Are you . . . talking to yourself?" She asked, unsure.

"Yes I'm okay, I'm fine." I paused, "And are you sure you're the one's that not okay?" I laughed, "There's no one here besides me."

"Okay then," My mother backed away from the door, her voice slightly fading. "If you say so."

I laughed a little, reaching out my hand to the knob, turning the lock this time. It seemed like I forgotten to do that when I walked into the room.

"I'm perfectly fine."


	11. Me and You

**A/N: **hello ~  
finally found some time to write the next chapter of this story that's turning out longer than I thought, Cx  
actually . . . . we're nearing the climax O:  
I can't believe it! xDD

anyways, I hope this chapter is all good n dandy,  
hopefully it won't bore you Cx

enjoyyyy ~

**Song: That's Incentive - Death Cab for Cutie**

**

* * *

**

**No Sunlight : Chapter Eleven**_**  
Me and You**_

It was a Saturday, an unusually warm one at that. It seemed like spring was coming early this year. It was still late February, snow still spotting the ground. It was still chilly, but it wasn't blistering cold. Though, I could still feel my face grow red as it tried to warm itself up as I went outside. My father asking me if I would pick up the mail.

But as I opened the practically frozen hunk of metal that stood tall on my lawn, as I took out the envelopes and newspaper from the insides of the box, as I looked through the mail,

I noticed one that was sent to me.

From Emily.

I wasn't quite sure if my eyes had widen, or if my jaw had dropped, or if I did anything. But what I know I did do was walk straight back into the house, dropping the envelopes that didn't mean a thing to me on the dinning table, and bringing the single envelope back to my room, shutting the door, and locking it.

I anxiously opened it, hands clawing at it like some savage beast.

I dropped the envelope, only picking up the single pice of paper enclosed in it. I unfolded the piece of line paper, revealing the handwriting of what I assumed to be Emily. My eyes instantly climbed their way to the top of the page, and began reading and reading and reading.

_Dear Ralph,_

_**It's me and you this time**_

_I had obtained your address from asking my father what your address was, since I need to write him letters often. I figured, why not? You know? Now hopefully we can still keep in touch, even though we're a pretty far distance apart. _

"_What's that?" _

My head shot up at the sudden voice. The image of the letter soon became the filthy boy as my eyes stared at him. "A letter." I bluntly replied, turning back to the message.

_... I actually had some good news too! I've been saving some money from doing some work for other people and I can probably buy a train pass so I will be able to see you more often. I'm excited! I'll probably be able to buy one very soon, and if my schedule allows me to, I would probably see you this Sundays._

"_From . . . ?" _The filthy boy went to my side.

"Emily." I mumbled.

I continued to read, the filthy boy reading over my shoulder..

_Would Sundays be okay? They're my only free day. Maybe, I should surprise you! Would that be okay? Is it still a surprise if I tell you I'm going to surprise you? Well, you don't really know when I'm coming, so that will be the surprise._

"_Wait . . . really?"_

_Anyways, I just wanted you give you some notice. I hope you're doing fine . . . Are you? I promise I'll see you soon, seriously. I swear we'll see each other soon._

_Sincerely,_

_Emily._

There were knots in my stomach as I read the last sentence over and over again. I could hear her voice reading it to me, like she was just saying this in front of me right now. I could imagine her giggling in certain places, her speeding up and slowing down according to the way the letter was going. The letter seemed so sincere.

I had butterflies.

"_How dare she."_

I quickly turned around as I set the letter down, cocking an eyebrow as I looked towards the filthy boy on my bed. "What are you talking about?" I asked, a bit confused. Was he talking to himself?

"_I mean, she could've asked for your address a long time ago, right?" _The filthy boy replied, _"Isn't it odd that she's only writing to you now? When she's been gone since New Year's?" _He leaned back against the wall, _"Maybe it's just me . . ." _He shrugged, _"I just think it's weird."_

He was going onto something, I was sure.

I was just trying not to think about the negatives for now.

I was just happy that she had written me.

"_I don't like how she thinks she can make everything better when she comes here." _The filthy boy added to his rant, _"Isn't that annoying? Doesn't that just irk you? Doesn't it?" _He looked over to me.

_**Is it you that always,  
is it you that decides?**_

I shrugged my shoulders at him, "_Should_ it be annoying?" I asked, sitting on the bed, a few inches away from the filthy boys who was taking up most of the space. "I'm not sure about you, but I'm excited." I smiled a bit, fantasizing a little about how our meeting will be like.

"_What if she doesn't show up this Sunday?" _The filthy boy asked, _"What would you do?"_

"I don't know." I admitted, "But I have faith in her." I sighed, pausing a bit before I continued, "Plus she said she might surprise me." I looked towards the filthy boys, who was staring up at the ceiling now.

"I'm just excited to see her, that's all."

_**I live this life just to bear these scars  
Will the hurt subside, if you decide?  
It's just me and you this time**_


	12. Clarity

**A/N: **another short chapter, but it's filled with alot! xD

I'm so sorry there's such long spaces between every chapter,  
I can't seem to get back to a normal story schedule. D:

hope you all enjoy this chapter ~  
and thanks to everyone who reviews  
you guys are amazing and awesome and I lovee you Cx

**Song: Debate Exposes Doubt - Death Cab for Cutie**

* * *

**No Sunlight : Chapter Twelve  
**_**Clarity**_

It wasn't me was it? Was it that I hadn't replied back? Was that I got the date wrong? What was I doing wrong?

Why was she not here?

"_We should go."_ Said the filthy boy,_ "She's not coming . . . again"_

The 'again' made my skin crawl. The tone in his voice, the apathetic, dull tone drove me nuts. He didn't care like I did. I was positive about that.

"Just a few more minutes." I replied, turning to him while he stood on the bridge as I sat up on the railing. "The trains were probably late, you never know."

"_You think the trains were late for five weeks?" _The filthy boy snickered. _"Do you honestly think so?"_

Once again, the filthy boy had a point. And I seemed stuck. He always knew what to say. He was always right. He knew me better than I knew myself.

"_I'm just saying." _The filthy boy added, to much of my displeasure._"If she really cared, she would have showed up five weeks ago, like she'd said."_

_**Then everything got frighteningly still  
And I tried to choke my stare **_

"_Just face it Ralph." _The filthy climbed onto the railing, sitting right beside me. He turned to me, _"I'm all you have now."_

I didn't look up at him.

"_I'm you're friend." _The filthy boy slung his arm around me casually, and added, _"You're only friend."_

I was listening to everything he was saying. And he knew I was vulnerable right now, he knew what I was feeling and he knew the words I needed to hear.

But for some reason,

I was believing him.

**_Finally there is clarity:_**  
**_And there is purpose after all._**

"_Just like you're my only friend."_

Everything he was saying,

"_And as friends we have to stick together."_

Every sentence, every single pause.

I agreed with.

Every part of me agreed with him.

"_And you know the only way we can stick together?"_

"What?" I finally replied looking up at him. And as soon as I did, he looked me dead on in the eyes. They drilled hole into my brain.

They were insane, something was wrong.

But I didn't catch it.

"_It's a funny thing you see . . ."_

I didn't know where he was going with this, but I continued to listen anyways.

"_If we ever are going to take our friendship to the next level, you have to do something for me."_ He laughed when he send this, but this laughed seemed much more softer than the filthy boy's regular laugh. It wasn't cocky, it wasn't like he was making fun of me. It was genuine._ "Just like how I've done many things for you, right?"_

I nodded.

"_Ralph, next week, on this exact day I want us to be friends forever."_

"And how do I do that?" I asked, practically willing to do anything right now.

"_How? Oh, that's really easy."_

By this point, the filthy boy had convinced me. Emily seemed to be no longer in my life, or didn't care for me at the least. We had to stick together, and he was the only one that had been there since the beginning. He knows what I've been through, and he knows what I need. There's no secrets between us.

"_Jump off this bridge, plunge into the water, and when you're not breathing, when you're not apart of this world anymore, that's when we'll be friends forever." _

_**Finally there is clarity:  
This tiny life is making sense**_

"_You'll do that for me, right?" _The filthy boy got off the railing, and down to the bridge's walkway.

He grinned at me, and I looked back at him. I didn't exactly know what to say to this.

"_C`mon, let's go home Ralph._"


	13. No Sunlight

**A/N**: my friend she was pissed after she read this.  
I'm sorry that this chapter really leaves you all hanging xD

I hope you'll all enjoy this chapter :DDD

**Song: No Sunlight - Death Cab for Cutie**

* * *

**No Sunlight : Chapter Thirteen  
**_**No Sunlight**_

"Is she . . . okay?"

"Yes, she's fine. I'll take care of her Emily." Her aunt walked with Emily to the small kitchen of the small apartment. A tray of food in her hands, a tray of a lot of food that wasn't finished. "Why don't you try to have some fun today?"

"Like what?" Emily frowned, taking the tray and putting into the sink so she could wash it.

"Well, I know you missed your church service today," Her aunt said, "Maybe you can go visit your friend from the country-side?" She suggested.

Emily looked down to the sink, blankly staring at the running water as she thought about him.

Ralph.

How could she forget?

He must be furious at her. He must be annoyed. He must hate her or something. Emily sighed as she continued washing the tray. In addition to worrying about the sanity and health of her mother, she has to worry about the friendship she had with Ralph.

She knows one problem out weighs the other, but she didn't know which one.

"Emily?" Her aunt asked, forcing her to fall back into reality. "Are you going to go?"

Emily looked over to her aunt, eyes widen at the sudden question. As she finished cleaning the single tray and putting on the shelf, she subconsciously nodded.

She was going to see him today, and make it up to him somehow.

* * *

Was it right that she was doing this? That she was just leaving her mother?

Well . . . her mother _was_ with her aunt.

But not being there for her in her time of need, isn't that just wrong?

Emily anxiously tapped her foot on the concrete of the train station's floor. Sitting on a lonely bench all by herself waiting for the train to come by.

Even though today was a time to get her mind off of her current problems, she couldn't stop thinking about the situation her mother was in. The frequent panic attacks, the states of depression, and the tantrums. This was too much for Emily.

But thankfully today, she could get her mind off of it.

Today was going to be a good day, she could feel it.

* * *

"_So today's going to be a good day. Don't you think so?"_

I gave him a small pity laugh, today was going to go on just fine.

* * *

Emily walked through the train's doors, jumping into the platform of the country side's train station.

She certainly hasn't been here in awhile.

Even the air some something distinct about it. Emily knew were she was, and how long she's wanted to come back.

Emily knew she was home.

* * *

I sat at the edge of the bridge's railing, the filthy boy accompanying me.

We sat in silence, as I awkwardly fumbled and played with my thumbs. My feet hit the stones of the bridge, swinging back and fourth.

"_You okay?" _The filthy boy asked.

I nodded, looking at my reflection in the water instead of looking at the filthy boy.

It was the same thing wasn't it?

"_So when were you thinking of starting this?" _Asked the filthy boy with a crooked grin showing his yellow teeth. He laughed a little, sending shivers up my spine.

I shrugged, "When did you want to start?"

The filthy boy stood up on the bridges railing right after I had asked. With the same crooked smile he looked down at me, like we has no time to waste.

I got the idea and stood up beside him.

The water looks so far away from up here.

* * *

Emily's shoes clicked against the paved road of the country side. Frantically running like she was being chased by something, but she was running to something, or someone, not from it.

A smile grew itself on her face, excitement and butterflies growing in her stomach.

She ran towards the bridge, where she knew he would be.

* * *

I peered over the edge of the bridge, the towering height making me feel uneasy and dizzy.

This was for him.

This was for my friend.

My only friend.

My shoes hung over the edge, making a few pieces of chipped stone fall endlessly into the shallow river below myself.

Was that going to be me soon?

No, no, no.

The filthy boy said we were going to be friends forever.

"Ralph?"

I practically jumped off the bridge right there.

I wasn't shocked, I wasn't surprised.

I was completely cut off-guard at the sound of her voice. It made my mind explode with thoughts I don't remember ever having. It poured out memories of me waking in the middle of the night only to crawl over to her house and ask if she wanted to talk.

"What are you doing?" Emily asked me. I think she was standing behind me.

What was I suppose to say?

I didn't exactly know then and there, but I supposed I shouldn't lie.

My head seemed completely void of any logic at all. Any reasoning seemed to disappear forever in my mind. I don't know what I was thinking.

"I'm going to jump off the bridge." I said bluntly.

There was a pause, a pause that seemed longer than it really was. It lasted for two eternities. Emily and I had stood frozen it seemed, both of us not having anything to say, or not knowing what to say.

The filthy boy seemed to have disappeared.

"Why?"

"Because then, I have a best friend forever."

I couldn't see the expression on Emily face, I couldn't even look at her right now.

I wasn't sure if I would be completely emotionless or completely break down.

And I knew I couldn't break down I front of her, because I knew that this was her fault for leaving me alone.

Like the filthy boy had told me, she didn't care.

"I won't." Emily barely uttered out.

"You won't what?" I replied back quickly, my voice sounding apathetic and dull.

"I won't have a friend."

I felt her big brown eyes gazing at me from behind.

Emily stepped up onto the bridge's railing, standing up right behind me and wrapping her arms around my waist. I froze, not knowing what I was going to do now. Her head resting on the higher part of my back. I still remained facing forwards.

I didn't dare to look back at her.

"Please don't." Emily's said, her voice was muffled by my coat. Her grip on me tightened. "Don't leave me alone."

My arms stayed glued to my sides, hands now pulled into fists. I exhaled though my mouth, each breath becoming more heavy and dense than the last.

I wasn't going to leave her alone.

I stepped to Emily's side, making her left go of me. I held her hand in mind as I stood next to her now.

I gave her a weak smile, "I'm not going to leave you alone, I promise."

And then, something came over me. Something, quite literally, pushed me over the edge.

**_It disappeared at the same speed_**  
**_As the idealistic things I believed_**  
_**The optimist died inside of me**_

I was done with this world now, and hopefully, Emily was done as well.

I interlocked my finger's with her's.

I leaned my body over the bridge, not looking down, but looking at Emily.

I held onto her tighter, and pulled her.

We fell.


	14. Look at Me

**A/N: **ahaha, left you all hanging xD

hopefully this will clear things up for you all

. . . . or maybe not xD

enjoy this chapter ~ :DD

**Song: Against All Odds - The Postal Service**

* * *

**No Sunlight : Chapter Fourteen**_**  
Look at Me**_

_**How can you just walk away from me?  
When all I can do is watch you leave?  
'Cause we shared the laughter and the pain  
And even shared the tears  
You're the only one who really knew me at all**_

The river was deeper than Emily has thought.

Her eyes popped open, a few feet from the surface. She looked around, despite her vision being blurred by the water she was still able to make out Ralph's body. Emily hadn't stopped holding onto Ralph's hand, and as they sunk deeper and deeper into the water.

Emily gripped onto Ralph hand for dear life.

His grip loosened.

Everything seemed to go in slow motion, from the air bubbles coming from Emily's mouth, to them sinking down.

She had pulled on Ralph, bringing him closer to herself. His eyes were closed from what she could see and no air bubbles were coming his mouth.

Emily know she needed to get to the surface quick.

Panic began to settle in as she came to the realization that she was quickly running out of breathe.

Emily grabbed Ralph's arms and draped them around her neck as if she was giving him a piggy-back ride. Her feet began paddling towards the surface.

And then suddenly, before she knew it,

Emily could breathe.

* * *

I coughed, water seeming to erupt from my mouth. My eyes remained shut, everything seeming too bright despite this being the later part of the day.

My name sounded in a scared, shaky voice.

I groaned, the voice gasped.

"Ralph?"

_**Take a look at me now  
I'll just be standing here**_

My head turned to the side, and I came to the conclusion that I was on my back. And kneeling next me, right by side was her.

My eyes opened; Emily's opened wider.

The sunset seem to disappear by the second. With each second the sky was getting a shade darker.

Emily leaned over, starring at the ground as her body seemed to tremble.

She didn't say another words, I don't think she needed to.

There was enough light for me to see the heaviest tear drops fall from her eyes onto the rocks outlining the river.

And it was silent.

_**I wish I could just make you turn around  
Turn around and see me cry  
There's so much I need to say to you  
So many reasons why  
You're the only one who really knew me at all**_

Everything was,

except the sound of Emily crying.


	15. Start Again

**A/N: **I forgot to mention this in earlier chapters, but this is actually the very last chapter.  
I will write an extra chapter of fun facts, thanks, and all that good stuff.

sorry for catching you off guard like this. D:

this is my first story I completed . . . ever xD  
and it's all thanks to you guys :DDDDD

the extra chapter will be up within a few days

until then,  
I hope you all enjoys reading this story :DD

**Song: Start Again (Teenage Fanclub Cover) - Death Cab for Cutie**

* * *

**No Sunlight : Chapter Fifteen  
**_**Start Again**_

I woke up to the sound of the door opening, like I had been for the pass few days. I wish they would at least wish me a good morning. I mean, I don't even know any of their names, or they're faces.

Were they even allowed to talk to us?

The days were slowly growing longer in my four wall jail cell. I laid there, practically dead underneath the bleached white covers and on top of the piece of concrete I had to call a bed. I looked over in the direction of the nurse, eying her as she did what she always did in the morning.

She cracked opened the blinds, and a little beam of light illuminated my room.

My parents had said I was going to get better here, but sometimes I think they wanted to get rid of me. Had they finally had enough of me? Was I finally too much for them too handle? I wouldn't blame them. I wasn't the best acting person.

But after what I've been through . . . could they blame me?

"_It's what you need Ralph."_

How do they know what I need?

And Emily, she didn't help me at all. She just sat there, not saying a word while my mother was crying into my father's shoulder and realizing that their son was suicidal.

**_I'm sorry for the things I've said_**  
**_ But some thoughts just won't leave my head_**

She didn't say I wasn't crazy.

* * *

The air was cold, and the room smelled like cleanser.

Since I've been in here, it seems like all I could do was stare blankly at the wall, fall asleep, or maybe listen to the awful music playing on the awful radio.

I took bits and pieces from the leftovers of my breakfast, so bored that I guess the most fun thing I could do right now was eat.

This was before I began seeing you of course. They wouldn't let me see you just yet. I suppose they were waiting for the source of my 'insanity' to really show itself for the first week I was here. Maybe if they let that explosive mixture of anger, confusion, and regret, I would really pour myself out to you.

And boy, they were right.

I didn't really know what to think of you at first.

My mother told me once, "Psychologist are for crazy people."

So . . . did that make me crazy?

You were supposed to be the one to talk to me for the whole time I stayed here.

Make me pour my heart out to you.

But the thing I did get was, if I couldn't tell Emily about my past . . . what made you think I could tell you about this?

Then again, I'm telling this to you as we speak.

* * *

You laugh a little as I say this, and I look down nervously. Did I speak too much? I cough and avoid you gaze for a split second, but this proved to be more of a challenge since you were sitting right in front of me.

"Ralph . . ." You begin to say as your laugh stops. "You care about Emily, right?"

I nod, looking back up you.

"I think you should tell her."

_**I don't know if you can hear me**_  
_** I'm feeling down and can't think clearly**_

"Too late for that now isn't it?" I reply, "I've haven't seen her since."

With a quick look at the clock and a surprised expression on your face, you turn back to me. Scratching your head and you stand up from the chairs.

"Well, we went a little over time today," You say as you begin to get all your things together. "I'm really glad with our process today Ralph, you really surprised me." You smiled, and opened the door. "I'll see you tomorrow."

I give you a small wave from my bed as the door clicks shut behind you.

Not that I mind having these sessions with you, but even you know that these sessions can get awkward. Like this session for example. I know this was exactly what you wanted to hear out of me. I told you my whole story and I know that the only thing I will get back from this is quite a few weeks in here and a plaque right under my name and room number.

I can picture it right now, underneath my name:

_Suicidal.  
Schizophrenic._

After telling you about the filthy boy, I have no doubt you will diagnose me with that.

And as if on cue, my head turned to the side, hearing the knock. An eyebrow raised, my parents had already visited me this week.

"Come in." I say, a bit confused.

She opens the door.

Her eyes brighten up and the room, and her smile sends chills down my spine. "Afternoon Ralph." She says as she closes the door behind her.

I wonder if my jaw had actually dropped. I hadn't even expected ever seeing her again.

"Emily?" I look up at her, she stood right next to my bedside. "What are you-" And she cut me off, and it seems like life itself paused.

The next thing I know, Emily leans over, and kisses me.

My eyes instantly grow wide, but as time progresses they slowly close shut. It seems like my stomach was going to burst open with butterflies any time soon. And being a young boy, completely inexperienced with love, I found my body sitting up as Emily pulled back from the kiss.

And my eyes opened to the sight of Emily giggling.

"That was long overdue." She says looking down and her face growing the palest shade of pink. She takes a seat on my bed.

After a brief moment of silence, I break it.

"It's really nice to see you." I finally admit, looking down and fumbling with the bed sheets. "How are you?" I ask, trying to start some conversation.

"Shouldn't I ask that?" Emily replies, "But I'm good, a bit relieved to find that this mental hospital is a few blocks away from my aunt's apartment." She grins at me, "What about you?"

I wonder why it took her to realize that the mental hospital was in the city, but I decided not to question it.

"A little nervous," I say.

"Why?"

I was beginning to wonder that myself. I didn't exactly know what was making me feel all antsy, or what made my hands shake. What it the diagnosis? Or the fact that Emily was here?

"Emily, I think I need to tell you something." I say, and look down at the sheets. Someone else had to know about this. I hadn't even told you yet, my own therapist. I need to tell someone everything. I need to someone why I'm like this. I need to tell someone the reason why I'm insane. I need to tell Emily this.

_**Some things have changed but it's too late**_  
_** I take the past and make it straight**_

"Okay Ralph." She replies. "I'm all ears."

"I think this is long overdue too." I admit with a small laugh before I begin having second thoughts about this. "I've been meaning to tell you why I'm like this."

"Whatever it is Ralph, I'll help you."

I cough, and there is silence.

Emily leans in a bit, as if she needs to get closer to hear a little better.

My mouth opens, and I can't seem to stop it. It runs wild, and I know I can go on for days about this. I'm telling her the complete truth, nothing short of it. Nothing censored.

**_And even though it's complicated_**  
**_ We've got time to start again_**

This was why I'm like this.

"It started with a plane crash."

**THE END**


	16. Extras and Thanks

Welcome to the extras for No Sunlight :DD

before I get to the thank you's and all that good stuff,  
let me tell you all some reasons why things are the way they are in this story.

* * *

Okay, so Emily was named Emily for a reason.  
Her original name was Emory Madrid.  
but if you rearranged the order of names,  
it would end up being something like:  
M. Emory.

Which would spell out Memory.

So the whole time, Ralph's trying to get rid and away from his memories,  
but trying to get closer to M. Emory.  
get it?  
ironic, yes? :DD

But I ended up giving her something along the lines of Emory, and named our lovely female character Emily.

* * *

I never ended up giving the filthy boy a name because I thought it would add a lot to the mystery of his character.  
And his name gave him more meaning than any name could.

He was simply, the filthy boy.

* * *

The song "No Sunlight" by Death Cab for Cutie is pretty much about the end of innocence in the singer's/someone's life.  
And if you remember the ending of Lord of the Flies, it said:

_"Ralph wept for the end of innocence, the darkness of man's heart, and the fall through the air of a true, wise friend called Piggy."_

And this exact sentence is the reason why I chose this song for the title of the story.

Also, I didn't ever intend the songs from Death Cab for Cutie and the Postal Service working so well with these chapter.  
It's pure coincidence, I promise you. (:

* * *

Now for some thanks and a few words from myself :

This is my first story I finished . . . ever.  
I've started many, many, many story ever since I was ten (I am fourteen) and always seemed to give up on them.  
I have no idea how I managed to finished this one, but I feel so fulfilled that I did.

And I would like to give some special thanks to:

**TuesdayNovember **for just being the most amazing person ever. She's been reviewing within hours of me first posting this back in July and I don't think she ever missed a chapter. xD I'm really thankful for you, because I don't think I would have finished this or pull through at all. Thank you so much :D

And to everyone else who reviewed, thank you all so, so , so, sooooooo very much. (:  
you all are amazing for taking the time to comment and criticize it :D

* * *

And one last thing before I close this thing, would anyone be interested in a sequel?  
And do you have any ideas for it?

Don't hesitate to drop something in my inbox if you want to see anymore of Ralph and Emily. :D

* * *

Again, thank you all so much for helping me get through this story. :D

I can't explain how thankful I am for you all.

I hope you all enjoyed this story. (:

Until then,  
Ally.


End file.
